Of Love, Insanity, and Akatsuki
by Apolla and Luna
Summary: Sasuke and Naruto...insane ANBU BlackOps who...love each other? Eh? Yes. Love, Insanity, and...an Akatsuki kidnapping. What's a Kitsune to do?


Disclaimer: Yeah. We own...nothing. Seriously. Well, except for a pair of katanas and a few shuriken, but that is entirely beside the point. We also own the insanity that is this plot, and we also own because...well, we do.

Ch. 1

The thunder from the sky reverberated through the trees. Through the flashes of lightning one might catch a glimpse of a teenaged boy with raven black hair…if one looked hard enough. But no one was looking to the woods; the only people mad enough to go out at this hour were holding their raincoats close, watching the ground for deep puddles. Peeking through a hole in the leaves of a tree, the boy could make out the silhouette of his target. _Just a few more moments and this night will be over…for Mr. Kirkham, at least,_ He thought with a smirk.

Slowly, silently, the shape stepped from the shadows and matched his target's pace, about six yards behind. As the boy passed a large church, he made a silent gesture with his hand and another shape emerged from behind the shadowy corner of the church. The first boy pointed ahead to the one they were following, and the second boy nodded. They watched as quietly as a stone gargoyle watches the crows fly around its head; they watched, and watched, and waited.

After a time, the target stopped and groped for something inside his raincoat. The first boy flung a strong arm out to stop the second boy. It was not yet time.

At last, the man found what he was looking for: a key ring with many keys on it. He was obviously oblivious to the two teenaged boys following him; he was making quite a racket with the jingling of the keys.

Finding the right key proved to be a bit of a struggle for the man…or at least, that's what it looked like. One could hardly blame him; the darkness pressed in from all sides, and the only light came from occasional blinding flashes of lightning behind him.

Finally, he found the right one, unlocked the door, and stepped inside. The two boys took this moment to wander casually down the street, arm in arm. If the townspeople looked out of their windows, they would all think they were seeing two lovebirds out on a rainy (maybe romantic?) midnight stroll. But as the second boy had cut the power to the whole city just under an hour ago, the chances of their being seen were extremely small. The moon and stars were hidden behind the thick, dark clouds; in fact, that was the exact reason the boys had chosen tonight to complete their mission.

The man had left the door unlocked. "_How lucky," _the first boy thought. "_Too lucky. It's possible he's expecting us. We must be on our guard."_

The second boy pushed the squeakless door open slightly, let the first boy slide through, squeezed himself inside, and shut the door silently. This was the easy part. Now for the hard part: silencing everyone inside, so the deed could be done without any interruption.

The first boy, clearly the leader of this whole affair, pointed to the servants' quarters, where he knew all of the servants would be at this time of night. The second boy followed the first boy's unspoken command and the first boy soon heard gasps and choking (They weren't killed). Then – silence.

The leader sensed the second boy's presence before seeing his silhouette. The quiet was soon interrupted by an angry yell from the target.

"Damn you, Mrs. Harris," he roared from inside the kitchen. "Why is there no supper? I specifically told you to…" the man's voice trailed off. "She should have been here by now, the groveling little leech. Where _is _she?"

The target stomped toward the self-same servants' quarters the second boy had just emerged from. A moment later, the two boys heard an unholy stream of curses and gibberish embark on a journey from the man's voice box out into the quiet, literally dead household.

The two boys hid themselves in a particularly shadowy corner as the man felt his way through the dark to the stairs leading down. The second boy saw an opportunity, and took it.

Streaking in front of the man, he thundered down the stairs and ran (rather noisily) into the farthest room from the stairs.

"_Nobody_ steals from _Seth Kirkham,"_ Seth yelled, and thundered down after him.

The first boy made his way down quickly and easily, as though he'd practiced this a million times. It was a snap.

The leader followed in silence, peering into the darkness with eyes that missed nothing. He smiled faintly as the thick man unwittingly fell into the trap the two teenagers had set for him.

"I've got you cornered now," Seth called into the blackness, his voice full of triumph. "There's nowhere else to go. You can come out now, and I may spare you, or…"

"…Or _you _may be the one who'scornered, Seth Kirkham." The first boy's voice was laced with poison. Seth spun round, frightened.

The second boy lit a large candle, and Seth could finally see the two boys in their black garb. One, the tallest, had midnight colored hair that peeked out of a black bandana; the other, the shorter, had blonde hair, but you could hardly see it as a black bandana also covered his head. Although the two looked deadly, David was not one to frighten easily.

"Oh dear, we've forgotten our manners. I am Naruto," said the shorter boy, "and this is my accomplice, Sasuke. And we've already established that you are Seth Kirkham."

"I am not very frightened by you two kids; now, if you don't mind, I have a murderer and a thief on the loose and I need to find him."

"That was a very bad move," said Naruto, silkily. "We are not children. No, we are much more deadly, much more sinister than children. Has it ever crossed your mind that the 'murderer' you are looking for is right in this room?"

Seth's face changed. His features now displayed fear and mistrust. And anger. "You are just kids," he spluttered. "You can't do anything to me. I am a very important member of society." Seth saw the coldness in Naruto's and Sasuke's eyes and both could almost see Seth's heart dropping to his feet. "What have I done to you?" He finally pleaded.

A flicker of amusement passed over Sasuke's face. "You've met Hoji Suri, I presume?"

Seth's jaw dropped. His eyes glazed over, and he tried to keep the tears from streaming down his cheeks.

"We'll take that as a resounding yes," said Sasuke, the sadistic, silent laughter written all over his face.

"But I only did it that once, and it wasn't even that important…"

"Not that important?" Naruto's voice changed from amused to annoyed. "Killing five innocent people is _not that important? _Stealing their money and using it to furnish your disgustingly large house is _not that important?" _

"Naruto…" Sasuke's tone was warning, but his voice was level.

"Well, you _kill people for a living," _said Seth, trying for the guilt approach.

"We kill people for a living, yes. But we never kill the innocent." If Sasuke's voice had been more venomous, Seth would have been dead on the spot. Even Naruto was a little unnerved.

"Sasuke, let's just get this over with. I'm hungry."

"W-wait! Pl-please!" It came out struggled.

Sasuke gave Seth a ruthless grin. "Are you ready to meet Death, Seth Kirkham?"

Seth had no chance to answer. Before he could even move, both boys had darted forward with inhuman speed, both pulling out long, black knives (Kunai). Naruto pulled his weapon out of the man, twisting it as he did so.

Once it was certain that he was dead, Sasuke stepped over the limp body of Seth Kirkham and looked Naruto in the eye. Naruto blinked the amazement out of his eyes. "You were brilliant," he said respectfully.

"Yeah, I was," replied Sasuke.

Naruto smirked. He knew that Sasuke wouldn't give up is position as an ANBU Black Op until he'd killed his brother…and he was not far from doing so.

"So…I'm still hungry."

Sasuke looked dazed, and realized that he was in a room with a dead man and his accomplice. "Yeah…I am too. And it's probably dawn by now; we'd better be going or someone might notice us coming out of this house."

"Yeah, let's go."

Once they were out of the door, the two boys slapped gloved hands. "I love the thrill of the hunt," said Sasuke, any traces of poison gone from his voice. "It's almost as satisfying as…I don't know…breakfast will be in about ten minutes."

"Yeah. And speaking of breakfast…who's paying?"

"I'll fight you, and the winner will _not _bepaying," Sasuke said, evilly.

"Breakfast's on me," Naruto said, hastily, and they walked together down the street toward the strip mall close by. "What about ramen?"

Sasuke groaned.

"I presume you didn't kill anyone else then?"

Naruto sighed. "Yes Obaa-chan. No one else."

"Because I don't want the ninja from that village to come barging in here because you went and killed an innocent person."

Sasuke was getting tired of this. "Tsunade-sama," he said respectfully, "have we ever killed someone, while on these missions, that wasn't our target?"

Tsunade smiled. That was why she liked putting the two of them together on these missions. They always got the job done right…unlike a certain _someone_ she knew who just couldn't keep control (you'll find out later ).

Naruto yawned. "Well, I'm going to bed. I haven't slept in…about a week. See ya." And he stayed true to his statement.

Leaving his best-friend and the Hokage behind he made his way down the hallway, passing Neji Hyuuga along the way. "How'd it go?" Neji asked.

Naruto shrugged. "Same old, same old. Boring."

Neji gave a small smirk. "Yes…those kinds of missions usually are." And with that the Hyuuga walked away, leaving a tired Naruto behind.

Naruto continued towards his destination: His bed. How he longed to see it again…Ok…that sounded corny. But he was tired and didn't want to have any more interruptions…poor Naruto.

"Hey, Naruto."

Naruto turned. "Yeah Kiba?"

Kiba looked…worried? That was new. "You're pretty close to Hinata…right?"

Naruto nodded. "Yeah. So?"

Kiba was doing a Hinata and fiddling with his fingers. "Um…well…"

Naruto gave him a tired look. "Listen. I'm tired and I just got back from killing someone. If I don't get any sleep that might happen again."

Kiba looked up. "Well…I kind of…" He muttered something that even with his heightened hearing Naruto couldn't hear.

"What?"

"I kind of…like…he..."

Naruto smiled. "Don't worry Kiba. Your only problem his that she still has a small crush on me. And I only think of her like a sister. Go for it. She has been looking at you for a while."

Kiba gave a small smile and Akamaru gave a bark from on top of Kiba's head. "Thanks Naruto. See ya later." He left.

As he continued on his walk home Naruto thought about what had happened in that past year. A lot. That's what happened. Sasuke's return. Him becoming an ANBU Black Op. Sakura staring to date Lee…_I thought that she still had that huge crush on Sasuke…but it seems she got over it._

He sighed. It was a lot to think about.

// _Does your brain hurt from thinking too much? _//

Naruto sighed again. _No Kyuubi. It doesn't._ He was tired and didn't want to put up with this. _So shut up because I don't want to talk with you._

// _Aw…and here I thought we were becoming friends. _//

Shutting out Kyuubi's voice, The Kitsune looked up and smiled as he reached his apartment. _Home sweet Home._

"Hey, Naruto."

Naruto turned an insane smile on his face. Behind him stood Jiraiya. "What do you want Ero-sennin?"

Jiraiya smiled at him. "Just to see how you were. I haven't seen you in a while."

Naruto tired to smile. "I'm fine. I just got back from a mission and I'm really tired." He said, hoping that the sennin would get the hint. He didn't

"Oh! Well how did your mission go?"

Naruto fell to the ground. When he stood up he glared at Jiraiya. "Fine. The man is dead."

"Good, good. Well, I've got information to gather for my next book. See ya."

As he watched him go, the Kyuubi vessel was seriously considering rasenganing the next person to talk to him. And that person was…

"Hey, Dobe."

Sasuke Uchiha.

Naruto gave out a yell. "Why can't I just go to my house to sleep?! No more distractions!"

Sasuke smiled. "Just wondered if you wanted to go over to my place. Tsunade wants to talk to us after you get some rest and she said that my place would be a good gathering spot. Some others are coming too."

Naruto looked at him sleepily. "Alright…carry me?" He asked suddenly.

Sasuke suddenly had a sleeping Kitsune in his arms. Sighing, he picked up his Black Op comrade and began to walk towards the Uchiha manor. Naruto gave out a sigh of pleasure and nuzzled into Sasuke's shirt. Sasuke looked down at the peaceful vessel. He looked so content.

"Mmm…Sasuke." The Kitsune muttered.

Sasuke had to smile.

Tsunade was sitting in her office, staring at the large pile of paper that she had to go through and she thought that maybe she would pull a Naruto and ditch doing the work. Shizune walked in, carrying a pile of…paperwork.

Tsunade let her head slump onto her desk. "I have a new phobia."

Shizune put the paper down. "Of what?"

"Paperwork."

Shizune laughed. "Tsunade-sama. You know you have to do this work."

The Hokage groaned. 'I don't care."

There was a long silence before Tsunade broke it. "What do you think of Naruto Uzumaki?"

Shizune stopped her task of feeding her pig. "Well, he's kind. And Naruto has that undying spirit that the Fourth had. You said so yourself."

Tsunade looked at her desk in a serious manner. "I'm beginning to think that there is a connection between them. The Uzumaki boy and the Fourth."

"What type of connection?"

Tsunade was silent. Then she switched tactics. "Well, what do you think about Sasuke Uchiha?"

Shizune looked at her pig. "He's a nice boy full of determination. Kind of like Naruto. But not as wild and full of energy."

Tsunade smiled. "And what do you think about his love for Naruto?"

Shizune blinked. "His love?"

"Yes. It's obvious that the Uchiha boy is in love the Naruto. I know it. And I think I might do something about it."

Shizune took a step back. "T-Tsunade-sama! What are you thinking?"

Tsunade smiled. "Naruto's going to be the Hokage soon. And having someone behind you all the way, supporting you, a lover for instance is great motivation. They both love each other…well I know Sasuke does. So…yeah. That's what I'm thinking."

Shizune gulped. Tsunade hadn't really told her what she was thinking. Tsunade had an evil look in her eyes, and Shizune was scared…really scared.

Apolla: Teeheeheehee…sorry…I'll shut up now.

Luna: Good.

Naruto: Yay! A fic with me in it!

Apolla: glomps Naruto I know!

Both: Jump around room happily

Sasuke:Glares at Apolla and grabs Naruto back You deprived _my_ Kitsune of sleep! Die evil authoress!

Apolla: Hey be nice! Luna would've done much worse…

All: look at Luna

Luna: looking through a torture book. What? Just because I have the instinctive urge to _kill, _doesn't mean I can't look for more…_inspiration…_

Everyone looks scared

Read and Review! Lots of love (and bloody torture),

Apolla and Luna


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